My Sharing with Terry

I thought I had enough of shedding tears this month of December. I thought twice were enough. I thought today (Dec. 18, 2012) is just like all of my ordinary days. But NO. Today’s tears were necessary because this time they were meant for no less than a (blogger) friend. Someone I have never seen in my life but meant so much to me.

Ms. Terry Shepherd is the author of the blog http://terry1954.wordpress.com/ . I don’t remember anymore how I found her blog, and vice versa, but that’s insignificant anymore. I didn’t know that I would come to her life as more than just bloggers exchanging comments but friends we are too – true friends for that matter.  My friend Terry has problems and they are no ordinary problems. If I have to say them here, it was because, she had already posted them in her blog, otherwise I don’t have an iota of right to divulge something which to most of us could be too personal.

Terry is so problematic with her husband and from what I had been reading from her blog, she has been terribly upset. This was yet aggravated by another problem with her brother. In her own words: “I am watching my brother slowly die in front of me, and it makes me reflect back to me as if looking in the mirror of my soul”. That said, I don’t think it is fair to provide more details here.

However, the urge of sharing with the world how I had been doing with Terry is something I just can’t conceal. I have the thought that maybe somebody out there, similarly situated, may find my two-cents worth useful to them somehow. I have been so vulnerable these past few days. I had been crying like a child who refuses to sleep. And before I read on another touching life-story, you may peruse on our sharing and comments below much ahead of time. You may find some essence in them.

maxim sense (me) says:

My dear Terry, my friend. You told me once, you will never forget me. And I said: “me too, I will never ever forget you”. And here I come because I do remember YOU in your most trying times, if I may say that.

My dear friend, it is in how much you desire a thing that matters; never in how much you are afraid of it. I do understand how you were so cautious at taking ‘risk’ to try another relationship. Who would take risk at taking another possible heartbreak the next time around. There’s a saying: “if you want to know how lucky you are, take a look around you; you will find that there are others who are more unfortunate than you are.” Then, and only then you would say: “how lucky I am still”.

My friend: never take a cue from bad relationships – it is always uninspiring and discouraging. But take a cue from good relationships which are still too many more than the bad ones – aside from inspiring and encouraging, it gives you positive vibes until one day you might begin to drop all those negative thoughts, fear, hesitations, apprehensions and the likes. You might say: “No, they were just lucky ones, not me; I am already doomed”. Indeed you are doomed, if you think that way. But those good relationships were not lucky to be good. They had worked quite hard for them, you can ask any couple in good relationships. It was not all heaven though; it was just sweeter the next time around after both parties realized when they had shed off some emotional baggage.

Like me, for example. You would have never said “you will never forget me” if I did not make myself unforgettable to you. You got me friend? How many times marriage counselors would tell us: “Love is never expected, much more demanded; it is something deserved”. Well, your hubby (or former hubby?) may just be one of the very few exceptions, but one thing is very certain. NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE YOUR HUSBAND. So hone yourself to be ready again, and more importantly make yourself available for it and do something to make Mr. Right feel you deserve him because you are now Mrs. Right.

Good luck my friend, and always remember: true friends always feel what the other friend feels. Please cheer up; we are your friends on stand by like fire volunteers ready to come to the rescue.

Reply ↓

terry1954 said:

You are right. As soon as I see your name, I remember instantly who you are. I only wish that at this moment I could reach across the screen and give you the biggest hug. I think I am just too emotional from today with my brother to be thinking straight. I am strong but today I am weak and tired. I am watching my brother slowly die in front of me, and it makes me reflect back to me as if looking in the mirror of my soul. Because of people like you I will turn the sails to the upright position and continue to move forward until there is no further I can go. Big hugs for you my friend. I so think so highly of you

Reply ↓

maxim sense (me) said:

Thank you my friend for speaking so highly of me. I think I can feel your hugs and I am happy at how you may have found some essence in my words – which I meant so sincerely for a friend. I know you are strong despite the ‘trials’ but the human body and spirit have only so much carrying capacity. You may be weak and tired now, but you would surely emerge better tomorrow. The wheel of life does not stop while you are down under. NO.

Still, I am tempted to ask these questions and please allow me to answer my questions just the same:

1. Why is it that some are tried harder than others? It is because God knows others don’t deserve to be tried like YOU. Given the same trials, others of lesser stuff, may have already passed out while you are still standing.

2. Is it always you who is tried this way? NO, my friend. Others were given harder trials than you, and yours may just pale in comparison.

3. Why are we tried by the Good Lord? Isn’t it that God is Good? YES, my dear; He is always Good. Believe me.

After you pass this trial, you will be promoted a hundred notches up. When and how? Sometimes God does not bother to let us know. God’s blessing is immeasurable, unfathomable, unnoticed, but when you start to think why you are still breathing, you will begin to know and to understand. I feel so much for you my friend, believe me, and like you I will cut across the screen to hug you, to comfort you and even to extend material support, if I could.

terry1954 said:

Thank you so much Maxim for walking into my life. You are a joy to have as a friend. Thank you for your comforting words. They do help in more ways than you can imagine.

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Thank you Terry. You are a special friend to me. You have never made me strong this way. You just made me feel how substantial my life is and how pertinent I am as a human being. I love to share with you for as long as you give me reason for it. If the day comes when there is no more reason for me to do it for you, that would be my happiest day.